Dear Parents,                                                                                                                                                     1 January 2006

 

          As the caregivers and transportation for the young students at our school, you are the most important element of their successful career in the martial arts.  Please take time to read this letter, think it over, and discuss any questions you may have with me in person.  You can also email me info@yamabushi.us .

          We live in a world where children often rule their parents.  Complaints are met with appeasement in the forms of T.V., movies, candy, presents, and even cars.  Often, martial arts are undertaken half heartedly by children because it looks fun and other kids are doing it.  Some children want to say “hey I take Karate”.  Parents sometimes feel the same way and think the martial arts are a cheap substitute for after school day care.  Both can be surprised when the first day the child is asked to be respectful, doing many pushups on the floor, helping clean the dojang, and basically being held accountable for all words and actions while in the training hall.  While I have had training in, and do apply modern theories of child psychology and education to our classes, I also expect mature and respectful behavior out of everyone who walks in the door.  And of course, the children are ready.  It is my theory that if someone can’t be respectful, help out, pay attention and work hard, then they shouldn’t be learning how to cave someone’s face in.  Also, character training and discipline are part of what we do.  In fact, many parents see our class as an alternative to drugs and medications for their children – this is good, and it works.

          However, without support from home, children are set up to fail.  By the time a student is 15 or 16 they have had time to be picked on, to feel insecure around others, want to look in shape, and perhaps have been in a fight.  These things provide powerful internal motivation for the rigors of training.  Young children, however, do not have these forces at work to the same degree.  Therefore, their motivation rises and falls quickly – often because they couldn’t get away with something in class, or because they are given structure, or being held accountable to a greater degree than they might be in regular school.  Sometimes the workouts are just hard, and the techniques are not coming quickly.  It would be a lot easier to go home and play a video game, after all.

          Therefore, it is important that you, as a parent, pierce through the excuses and find the reasons for various choices the children make regarding training.  While we don’t want to force them to do something they truly hate and do not want any part of, it is equally foolish to assume a 7 year old will always make the best decision about life choices.  Yes, what I am saying, is that there are times when YOU make the decision about a child’s attendance in a martial arts class.  Who doesn’t get nervous about sparring?  Who really likes workout out until their body gives out?  Well, some of us do – but we are not getting ready for 4th  grade!

          If things get to this point, however, we have missed a step.  I like it when I know the parents.  It’s great when someone watches class occasionally, or sticks their head in to see how class is wrapping up.  It’s great to visit and have dinner, to talk one on one, and to see you for every promotional test your child has.  The kids NEED home support.  Not sugar coated, ‘you’re going to win’ stuff, but real talking.  They want to know that you think it’s cool they are there.  They should feel empowered, strong, sharp, impressive!  They thirst for your attention and love in constructive and positive ways.  Supporting their martial arts training with questions and comments and pictures is one of the best ways out there!  Also, helping them follow a healthy diet and supporting their nutritional needs is something that helps you both!

          The last thing I want to mention is attendance itself.  Beginner classes are only twice a week.  You should  know when I started 3-4 times a week was recommended.  In some places students get 5 days a week.  When a child only gets one hour a week for 2 weeks, and then misses a week, then comes for 2 weeks, and then misses 2 classes again, they are basically lost.  They are always behind, have to relearn the same basics over and over, and see their peers passing them in every aspect of the class.  Often they don’t connect attendance with their own performance and begin to see themselves as dumb or uncoordinated.  This is embarrassing, destructive, and highly unnecessary!  When I look in my class roster and find someone’s name who has fallen off and hasn’t been around, or who isn’t passing any tests, there are always holes in their attendance.  The students who are succeeding have near perfect attendance.  It’s no accident.  So please, do everything in your power to get your children to class on time and let the instructor know when you will be absent.

          Thanks for taking this time to read my letter to you.  I look forward to getting to know all of you better and even more, seeing your children succeed in my class as students, warriors, and human beings.  Remember, what we are doing is serious.  It is not play, and it is not only a game.  If someone tried to carry your child off you would want them to be as prepared as possible.  That is what I do.

 

Sincerely,

 

Spencer Bolejack

Land of the Sky Martial Arts, Instructor

Black Mountain, NC

info@yamabushi.us