Dear Parents,
As the caregivers and transportation for the young students
at our school, you are the most important element of their successful career in
the martial arts. Please take time to
read this letter, think it over, and discuss any questions you may have with me
in person. You can also email me info@yamabushi.us .
We live in a world where children often rule their
parents. Complaints are met with
appeasement in the forms of T.V., movies, candy, presents, and even cars. Often, martial arts are undertaken half
heartedly by children because it looks fun and other kids are doing it. Some children want to say “hey I take Karate”. Parents sometimes feel the same way and think
the martial arts are a cheap substitute for after school day care. Both can be surprised when the first day the
child is asked to be respectful, doing many pushups on the floor, helping clean
the dojang, and basically being held accountable for
all words and actions while in the training hall. While I have had training in, and do apply
modern theories of child psychology and education to our classes, I also expect
mature and respectful behavior out of everyone who walks in the door. And of course, the children are ready. It is my theory that if someone can’t be
respectful, help out, pay attention and work hard, then they shouldn’t be
learning how to cave someone’s face in.
Also, character training and discipline are part of what we do. In fact, many parents see our class as an
alternative to drugs and medications for their children – this is good, and it
works.
However, without support from home, children are set up to
fail. By the time a student is 15 or 16
they have had time to be picked on, to feel insecure around others, want to
look in shape, and perhaps have been in a fight. These things provide powerful internal
motivation for the rigors of training.
Young children, however, do not have these forces at work to the same
degree. Therefore, their motivation rises
and falls quickly – often because they couldn’t get away with something in
class, or because they are given structure, or being held accountable to a
greater degree than they might be in regular school. Sometimes the workouts are just hard, and the
techniques are not coming quickly. It
would be a lot easier to go home and play a video game, after all.
Therefore, it is important that you, as a parent, pierce
through the excuses and find the reasons for various choices the children make
regarding training. While we don’t want
to force them to do something they truly hate and do not want any part of, it
is equally foolish to assume a 7 year old will always make the best decision
about life choices. Yes, what I am saying, is that there are times when YOU make the decision
about a child’s attendance in a martial arts class. Who doesn’t get nervous about sparring? Who really likes workout out until their body
gives out? Well, some of us do – but we
are not getting ready for 4th grade!
If things get to this point, however, we have missed a
step. I like it when I know the
parents. It’s great when someone watches
class occasionally, or sticks their head in to see how class is wrapping
up. It’s great to visit and have dinner,
to talk one on one, and to see you for every promotional test your child
has. The kids NEED home support. Not sugar coated, ‘you’re going to win’
stuff, but real talking. They want to
know that you think it’s cool they are there.
They should feel empowered, strong, sharp, impressive! They thirst for your attention and love in
constructive and positive ways.
Supporting their martial arts training with questions and comments and
pictures is one of the best ways out there!
Also, helping them follow a healthy diet and supporting their
nutritional needs is something that helps you both!
The last thing I want to mention is attendance itself. Beginner classes are only twice a week. You should know when I started 3-4 times a week
was recommended. In some places students
get 5 days a week. When a child only
gets one hour a week for 2 weeks, and then misses a week, then comes for 2
weeks, and then misses 2 classes again, they are basically lost. They are always behind, have to relearn the
same basics over and over, and see their peers passing them in every aspect of
the class. Often they don’t connect attendance
with their own performance and begin to see themselves as dumb or
uncoordinated. This is embarrassing,
destructive, and highly unnecessary!
When I look in my class roster and find someone’s name who has fallen
off and hasn’t been around, or who isn’t passing any tests, there are always
holes in their attendance. The students
who are succeeding have near perfect attendance. It’s no accident. So please, do everything in your power to get
your children to class on time and let the instructor know when you will be
absent.
Thanks for taking this time to read my letter to you. I look forward to getting to know all of you
better and even more, seeing your children succeed in my class as students,
warriors, and human beings. Remember,
what we are doing is serious. It is not
play, and it is not only a game. If
someone tried to carry your child off you would want them to be as prepared as
possible. That is what I do.
Sincerely,
Spencer Bolejack
Land of the Sky Martial
Arts, Instructor